Divorce and Breakup Recovery with Joana Lopez
On today’s podcast, we have Joana Lopez talk to us about divorce and breakup recovery. She is a heartbreak coach from Toronto. Lovely to have her!
Joana grew up in Mexico, but moved to Canada when she was very young. It’s been home ever since.
What does a divorce and breakup coach mean?
Basically, Joana works with people through the emotional pain caused by separation. When people go through that separation, the emotional pain can be and is overwhelming and need help processing that.
It can really block your mind from focussing on things and so Joana helps entrepreneurs know how to tackle these things to help their business. So, Joana’s ideal client is entrepreneurs working through breakups.
The moment people are able to get back on their feet, they are able to heal.
When in the process of breakups and divorces do people come to you for help?
There are 3 levels of the separation process/3 types of client Joana works with:
- The client who is still in the relationship and unhappy, and doesn’t know how to move forward. It’s affecting their business.
- It is not the process of separation that’s bothering this client – they want the separation. Or, they are undergoing the process of separation because their partner has willed it.
- This client has already been dealing with separation for a long period of time and it is affecting their mental health and other aspects of their lives.
With all of that, divorce and breakup recovery can be so intense and long-lasting. Joana helps clients work through it in an efficient way so that they can move on.
How do you advise that person?
Joana helps clients by recognising psychological reactions in the individuals. She has a lot of material to help her clients, because every single client will be different….
But then again, will they have similar characteristics?
Joana loves this question! Personally, she finds each story different in each tragedy. However, there are 3 main issues or core problems that Joana and her business solves. A lot of the breakup problems go beyond the break up.
This is because we have unconscious patterns and blocks. Therefore, Joana has 3 stages in which she helps the client with heartbreak.
- Assess the unconscious blocks and patterns – this is because the problem that clients come with is never the actual problem.
- Remove those unconscious patterns and blocks.
- Install new, healthy patterns that will help the client form new relationships, either with the person they are separating from, someone new or help them move on entirely.
Through this process, Joana helps the client go from tragedy and triumph.
Joana has always been interested in relationship breakups and what happens in the brain during that event and process. Before that, she was a business and life coach, so personal development has always been her ‘thing’.
5 years ago, Joana had a traumatic separation. Going through that pain, she was wondering why she couldn’t get past the breakup because she had all the knowledge of personal and neurological development. Why couldn’t she get over this person?
So, she went through a search of what happens during separation (for a relationship or a marriage). It became a fascinating journey.
The way we end relationships impacts our lives but also impacts the lives of others. Because, we teach by example. Therefore, the way we breakup is watched and emulated by others.
Awareness is the first step of healing. When you’re aware, you’re in charge. Whenever you’re not aware the situation is in control of you.
The moment you know it, the moment you can do something about it.
As adults, we recreate a lot of the stories we learnt when we were little. Because that represents ‘home’ for the brain. It’s fascinating stuff.
How do you break that cycle?
Well, by hiring someone like Joana!
As you know, there’s the unconscious and the conscious. A lot of humans try to do the work consciously, which takes a lot of time. A faster approach is to find a way into working into the unconscious. Because that deals with the problem at the centre. Joana uses hypnosis for this.
But this is something Joana is very passionate about. It’s something that enslaves so many people – the pain of separation. One of her plans is to train coaches to be able to help others with relationship breakup recovery. She can’t do it on her own if she wants to make a global impact!
Breakup advice for all
From now, Joana is working with business owners and entrepreneurs, because that is the market that is working for them. Because growth isn’t just about personal growth. It’s about helping businesses through the tough times too, so that they can grow despite owners suffering emotional pain.
However, her master plan is, yes, to advise and help everyone with this separation pain. Joana is working in fun and exciting ways so she and her business can reach more people.
Businesses and relationships
The pandemic and relationships
Being locked up is no doubt having an impact on our relationships with people around us. Graham recognises it within himself. The thrill of getting out in his car is an amazing feeling – a feeling of escape! That’s just a view on mental health.
But has the pandemic caused an increase in breakups? Joana says yes. The mind distracts you from problems in relationships because that’s confrontational. However, lockdown has forced us to stand in front of our problems and the things that we have bottled up. So, there are not enough distractions for people to avoid the issues within the relationships with their spouses and partners.
What’s the #1 thing to do after a separation?
Learn how to deal with rejection. After a separation, the first thing that happens is that you feel rejected. So learning to deal with this will determine how you are able to move on.
Emotions are a beautiful thing when we learn to manage them masterfully.
How best should people around your clients act and respond to the separation (i.e. family and friends)?
The best way you can act is to sustain the image that they are going to be okay. To believe that this person is going to be okay and things will work out is the most helpful. You don’t need to tell them. You just hold that belief and remember that. If you join their weeping, you will not help them long-term.
If you want to know more about what Joana does and what she can offer you, click here. You can also find her on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn.
Also, Joana has offered a free session with her and, in return, she will send you an mp3 with some hypnosis to help with your separation or breakup.
Follow this link if you want to know more about Kevin Appleby.
If you want to know more about Graham, click here.